HowardSternClone.com

I posted a new Marijuana Radio video online last night! We went for something creative and different in this one, and I hope the future will bring MORE and better stuff!

Enjoy Dan-K as the star in ‘How to Roll a Joint.’ Expect the unexpected.

Or enjoy episode #46 Marijuana Radio!
- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 46

Howdy folks, enjoy a fun treat! Bonus content from the video archive of Marijuana Radio! These out takes are full of mad vulgarity. Please be at least 18 to view this video.

Please go to the YouTube URL and rate this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX0t2dcw81A

Or enjoy the last three radio episodes of Marijuana Radio!
- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 45
- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 44
- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 43

Your feedback is greatly appreciated.

If I write down my honest feelings at this moment, it’s hard not to mention the abominable dread that I feel. Sometimes the necessary things are happening to become successful with my business, and then there are days when I’m more full of doubt. I sometimes ask myself if I got in way over my head. Some people think that I did, but I really hope that the systems we’re working out for our business eventually pay off.

Am I just too ‘creatively high’ on my own media?

It’s easy to ‘produce’ the media that I am compared to making a functioning business model around it, especially when that business model is so in need of mass exposing this media as a vital component. We’re an ‘indie mom and pop’ media outlet that is hoping we can grow a bigger voice with much more media offered all the time. All the meanwhile, we’re calculating our steps in hopes that we can help build the businesses who support our media as sponsors. I believe that the more successful Marijuana Radio becomes, the more successful most of the businesses working with us will become.

When I gain my perspective after fleeting moments of gloom and doom, I usually realize that perhaps one day I’ll feel truly successful. I get frustrated when people congratulate me on my success. Should I feel good that I seem successful to others? Or should I still feel this huge motivation to really succeed? I try to put a successful image out there, but feeling personally successful, or being successful in a financial sense are all different things. You could say I’m a success based upon my level of enjoyment, but that enjoyment is not enough to indefinitely sustain the company in the real world, or my constant appetite for more production gear, which I always associate with a higher level of potential success.

I’m not yet successful in business, and at times it feels that the whole operation for one reason or another hangs in the balance. Of course my biggest concern with making this company function is generating enough revenue to make it possible to self perpetuate.

On a more philosophical note, I’ve come to the conclusion that I put way too much pressure on myself personally to succeed, perhaps to the detriment of my health and productivity. I also frequently feel frustrated with the slow day to day progress in business, while feeling more satisfied when I look back after time at how things went.

One thing that is causing me paramount frustration lately is timeline pressures. More specifically, the videos that I’m editing, though I really enjoy them as a creative outlet, they are incredibly hard to produce. However, despite that, I’m pleased that we’ve had sponsors supporting them, which helps me justify the enormous amount of time I’m putting into producing them. Of course people seeing them justifies making the videos as well. Both making money and an audience are integral parts of this brainstorming process every time we come up with a video concept. We literally ask ourselves, ‘will this concept appeal specifically to any particular sponsors?’

I admit that am a potential sellout. When the time comes, I hope that I can let all of this go with a hefty reward, and a successful company to hand off. I would start focusing on producing music full time, and I’m not even necessarily talking about producing music to sell it. I just want to make music for strictly artistic reasons. There are no guarantees in life that this opportunity will materialize. I’m still full of musical ideas and yet there’s something killing my ability to follow through with a more refined and finished album project, that something is FUCKING TIME coupled with business responsibility.

I have a constant fantasy that I can just ‘pause’ time and take a breather to recover my energy, OR have endless amounts of time to work more and get ahead without actual time passing. I really have in this stupid fantasy in my mind, and then I will cast it away in frustration because I’m being overly ideal, and I’m practically obsessive about it. It’s comparable to a feeling of nostalgia that I have in which I want to go back in time someday to fix mistakes that I’ve made in my love life. I know this is ridiculous, but I indulge in these fantasies sometimes. It’s both frustrating and at times a form of escapism, as if I might truly travel back in time by happenstance while imagining it in my head, or as if I may get to return in the future to a renewed situation to make things right. Dwelling really isn’t an escape. It’s rather a wish for something impossible which is a fruitless pursuit in the end. I’m purposefully being vague when I’d like nothing more than to get specific and say precisely what I’m thinking.

Often it’s music, specifically my own music that I’ve made and still make that perpetuates this unending nostalgic feeling of wanting to return to the past. I hear my own feelings and remember where I was very clearly in almost every recording that I have made. It’s as if I’m viewing audio in a time capsule when I hear my music. The feelings present in the music rush back to me, as if it was literally yesterday. This summer I’ve been pouring over many old recordings and I’ve been stuck in a nostalgic loop. I find myself writing new music about the same exact things. It’s also why I’ve had a hard time getting my hands around music professionally. I have a huge archive of musical demos that are quite good, but the thought of rerecording them from an artistic standpoint for commercial purposes does not appeal to me. I expect that I will be publishing a myspace page after not long where you’ll be able to hear samples of my music. I have three songs in mind that I would like to put out there. They’ll all be from different periods in the last 7 years.

I say that I’m a sellout, but since I can’t imagine the future, I have to admit that if the opportunity materializes, I may still find myself still personally tied to what’s going on. So who knows? This is my thought for the future in terms of being this successful someday, but it may or may not be the requiem of events yet to come. I can only hope. It’s hard not to tie in the hopelessness of the world gone mad around me and trying to be successful in business. We can never know all of the future.

Life can change. Situations change. I started this whole company based upon doing a radio show called Barefoot Radio which has moved into the background while Marijuana Radio has become my professional focus. I think it will evolve into much more than the simple media we’re producing today. Did I say that the media I’m producing is simple? It’s not simple, but it’s simple compared to what I aspire to do someday. I’m perpetually unsatisfied and always want to get to the next step and level.

I’m pleased that I’m not faced with the reality of ‘giving up’ Marijuana Radio at this point. It has opened bigger and better doors than anything else. If the right investor comes along, our team of people is instantly going to grow. Productivity is going to skyrocket. Why would a podcast stay only a mere podcast when it can become something so much more?

I’m facing the future with cautious courage. I have all of these visions for the company and wonder if they’ll come true. The things I’m doing now with media I was only speaking about five or six years ago. It took that long to finally land in a place where I’m actually producing the media I knew that I would one day produce. One of my biggest frustrations is trying to do these grandiose perspective type videos all alone. I need help. I need others who can help kick these elements up to a new level of gripping, relevant, entertaining media.

If you’re serious and in business, step forward. I’m looking for the business partners in life that want to create a massively successful company. I need the help of key others to be successful. Who are you? Say howdy.

I need to stay focused. I need to be a healthier person mentally and physically. I feel myself again at a crossroads in life, and there’s tons of pressure and twisted irony in my reality.

Time + $ + Hard Work + Luck + People + Goals +/- Health +OTHERS + X + Y + Z = Success

WTF are X, Y and Z? Are they luck too?

Prolific personalities and producers, say hello so that we may grow something special to a whole new level. It’s no secret that we want Marijuana Radio broadcast on Sirius Satellite Radio.

- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 45
- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 44
- CLICK TO PLAY Marijuana Radio Episode 43